Free Falling

I'm not a terrible person, I am just misguided. When I met the Doctor, I needed reasurrance and security. Somebody to pick me up and hold me, to tell me how great they thought I was, despite anything I might have been told to the contrary. A good guy to undo the work of a bad boy: he did it well and I can never say a bad word against him. I still love and respect him, but know we are not destined for each other.

It is over since two weeks. After a two week period of arguing and general horribleness, I told him my doubts about us (independent of over whelming lust for Flatmate).

I've also moved flats last week. Why? I want to be single for a while - get to know myself, concentrate on my studies, improve myself and, well, lick my wounds. There is no blank space between love and not love: I love the Doctor, and have mourned/am still mourning the end of our two year life together, but know it just wasn't enough or in the right way to make it last forever.

A friend once said there is no such thing as a failed relationship, but just some relationships are meant to last longer than others. We lasted years, and they were some of the happiest, safest and assured times I've ever had - it was not a failed relationship.

Things what I learnt from the Doctor

Self discipline
To *heart* Bruce Springsteen - oh yeah, Bruce it up!
Self belief
Global justice
The Arsenal Squad - Arsene knows.
Table Fussball
Politics
Woody Allen Films
Radio Four
London
To drive

Things what he learnt from me

Self deprecation
To read a book for pleasure
To *heart* Belle & Sebastian
Post Modernity in relation to the Holocaust (I can only apologise - he went cross-eyed)
That it is not acceptable to call Man Utd, Manchester U Shited.
To look at things for aesthetic reasons

Not much really, but enough to have changed our lives.

Happy St Valentine's Day.